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'The Edge of Sanity'
Written by Buster Michael Waeland
Synopsis
The story is told, in the first person, by a old'ish man who is suffering from the terminal illness of Emphysema. Due to this he has serious physical limitations. The Old man is a 'Horse Listener' having a remarkable gift but no-one, family or friends know how he started his life and his whole past is shrouded in secrecy. He is persuaded to talk to, and write for, a particular friend of his who wishes to understand his very strange and secret past.
The old man was born in England at the end of the Second World War, in 1943, a boy born into a family entirely set on having only one daughter. He is not abandoned or fostered, but worse, rejected and treated as an infernal nuisance absorbing both finance and time from his immediate family, spoiling their plans, whilst furnishing nothing of use to them. Unless, that is, he can be steered, or forced, into a position of high status. That status will be his payment for having the temerity to be born at all.
The boy is initially looked after by his Nanny from birth but through sad circumstances then put into the charge of an older boy. By the age of twelve, he has failed his eleven plus exam, succumbed to extreme loneliness, and tries to pay his way with part time work. Between his twelfth and thirteenth birthday, he suffers a serious, full, homosexual rape. His parents do their best to ignore this! They want nothing to do with any aspect of it. He is moved to a private school where matters deteriorate further at the hands of a second homosexual teacher and suffers from mental assault. The boy's only happiness is his association with his eccentric and unusual grandfather who he loves immensely and his weekly visits to his Nanny.
He develops a very unusual affinity with nature and animals, and partly because of this he ends up being 'adopted' by a very strangely eccentric set of people on a large farm and riding stables. Here he becomes a surrogate son and brother, and receives huge love and trust for the first time. Here also he falls in love with a girl a little older than him. Impossible though it seems to him, an amazing and beautiful love develops between them! This, supported completely by his Granfather, his Nanny and the Father of the girl, and also by the farm folk who by now are his adopted family.
Sadly this love has to remain secret from his family at his home. The boy is, by the age of fourteen, living two separate lives and identities. Here also the boy dreams, and in his dreams he is adopted by two spiritual guides. American Indians. He also develops a unique understanding of horses and is named 'Sukawaka Wastelake' by the Indian guides. [A Lakhota Sioux name which means 'lover of horses'.] {In its literal use it means, brother to horses!}
Through his Grandad he learns to fight and become independent, and through his love of the girl he grows into a man whilst still a schoolboy. His personality begins to split when his parents give his guardianship to his grandfather in exchange for their house deeds. A choice has to be made. Does he leave his home and family or does he lose his love, life with horses, and proxy family, all to appease his parents?
With the joint strengths of his supporters, and the immense belief he has in his dream, he chooses to live two existence's. One for himself and one for his parents to try to win their love. Tragedy strikes however in a number of guises. By age eighteen he is very disturbed, and only the will of his Grandfather, and the remaining belief in his dream world and guides, and the immense trust he has in his horses, keeps him from derangement.
The boy escapes reality and lives the life of a Circus trick rider and professional horseman and learns further to trust only his 'horses', but at the same time he develops a means of remaining in close association with his parents who he loves immensley and remains loyal to. The insight and empathy he has in nature is transferred into an ability to vary his own perception of his relationship with his own family and although they are never to know of his love, of his farm family, or of his closeness to his Grandfather, they are supported in every way by the boy into his and their old age. Neither do they know of his 'dream', his gift as a 'listener', or of his true feelings. They only see what they want, and what they want, he tries to give! But also is he able to remain true to his own beliefs and to his Horses. He comes very close to the Edge of Sanity many times but somehow his spiritual belief and ability to perceive from others viewpoints enables him to step back from the Edge. Just!
"The edge of Sanity" is stand-alone, concluding in a most unusual manner that is recounted by his Grandson.
Below right, the author, Buster, September 2002
Left, The Author Buster Waeland,
June 2000.
BBelow Left; Buster with his Barn Owl Friend AZZY and Right with his Friend 'Blue'
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All original pictures, graphics and backgrounds © to Buster Waeland
Flag animations by animfactory
